Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
