I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
