Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
