did you get engaged???
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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