Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
