He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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