Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize