Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
