..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
