took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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