Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
