rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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