I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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