What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize