Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
