His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
