In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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