We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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