Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
