VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
