I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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