So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
