I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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