I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently you make a good broom.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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