come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
