I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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