i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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