I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
