did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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