so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
