Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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