just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
