is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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