I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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