I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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