i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize