Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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