Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
