So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
