it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So. Much. Porn.
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