Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
