we made out on top of his cat.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
