why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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