He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
