I wanna bring you to show and tell
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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