You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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