Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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