Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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