Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize