my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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