Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
