Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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