the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
