Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
