I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
third nipple confirmed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
