I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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