It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
