My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
