Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
