Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
