TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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