God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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