Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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