what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize