you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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