I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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