everyone is single if you try hard enough
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
